I have had lots of fun creating this past year. For a long time I believed that it was not "my thing" to be "creative/artistic". I believe it has something to do with the desire to be original, unique, special, totally different from anyone else, especially siblings. I'm sure Andrea and Richie know what I am talking about. :-) I grew up believing that art was my sister's thing. She was the creative one, and I was..., well, hmmm, do we ever get that figured out?
I have watched this happen with my children. I can see that tension existing as clothes are picked out, as art media is chosen, as activities and books are picked. They don't want to pick the same colors or the same favorites. They struggle to know who they are and where they fit in to the extent that they will forsake the real them for the "different" the "unique".
How much time do we waste trying to figure out who we are instead of enjoying ourselves now. Why do we strive so hard to be something other or more or different or better? I'm not talking about growing, and whoever figured out how to make yourself grow more or faster any way, right? (see previous post) I think I'm talking about loving ourselves.
I think I am finally beginning to get past all that sibling/peer/worldly rivalry stuff and I'm learning to love myself for who I am now. Not who I was, not who I wish I was, not who I will be, but who I am.
And you know what?! I'm beautiful, I'm intelligent, I'm witty, I'm loving, I'm creative, I'm personable, I'm strong, I'm funny! I'm also distractible, I'm stubborn, I'm lazy, I'm a tease, I'm argumentative, and lots more. :-) I'm ME!
I'm enjoying me being me. Thank you God, for making me. I want to see myself the way you see me.
"And God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good...And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed." from the book of Genesis.
Naked and not ashamed. I don't want to swap any old fig leaves for the real deal anymore. :-)
3 comments:
Wonderful stuff, Amy! It's great to see you finding your way through this stuff (and to walk through it together).
"If you want to become whole,
let yourself be partial.
If you want to become straight,
let yourself be crooked.
If you want to become full,
let yourself be empty.
If you want to be reborn,
let yourself die.
If you want to be given everything,
give everything up."
That's marvelous. Straight from the heart stuff that is a joy to read. ;-)
Pax. Kimberly
Thanks, Kimberly! You know you are definitely one of my inspirations. I love reading your blog.
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